Creative process and the rejection of it all.
As someone that has a deep rooted issue with rejection and being perceived, being an advocate for my art has been difficult. I didn’t share any of my process with others and likely wouldn’t tell people about accomplishments for the true crippling fear I would be taken as pretentious or ego centric. The rejection sensitivity I so lovingly have been diagnosed with caused me to be an overbearingly harsh critic to the point of depression and low self worth. I can’t speak on specifically what caused me to turn a new leaf in presenting my art but I can say that sharing with my circle has given me an environment to reduce my self worthlessness feedback loop I would get into when I was rejected. Whether it be someone not wanting to use my skills for their projects or getting critiques on final production of an artwork, I am able to take all of that in stride and balance it with my wins much easier now. Like my highschool algebra teacher always said - show your work.
Something else I have started implementing into my day to day in general, but specifically in my creative process, is literally going for it. If I have an idea or thing I want to do, I get the ball rolling. Figuring out how to cold message someone on providing my skills and creativity was a wall I was afraid of knocking down until very recent. Personally, I need one yes or positive interaction and I can ride that energy into the uncharted. I now will DM an artist or business to ask if they are interested in any design or branding services. Odds are they don’t or they’ve got a person for it already, but simply starting a rapport I otherwise didn’t have has been a breakthrough I wasn’t aware I needed.
Lastly, the other big component to confronting rejecting and figuring out how it plays into my process is sharing. Share my art. If I am sketching a scene at a coffee shop or waiting room, I’ll finish up the sketch and just randomly give it to someone. Most of the time it is met with a polite thanks and nothing more, but it is a step in the right direction for what I need in finding fulfillment.
Evaluating those difficult to define aspects that provide energy and fulfillment make obtaining negative review or an unwanted no a lot more tolerable. Getting radio silence from a message used to wreck my mental state for days, not the radio silence just tells me to scan a different frequency.